Strategic Guidance Through Life’s Hardest Transitions

Whether you're designing your legacy with an estate plan, restructuring your family through divorce, or navigating a family conflict — Tamara provides heart-centered legal support, serving the Santa Ynez Valley, Santa Barbara County, and throughout California

Licensed California Attorney

Certified Mediator & Conflict Coach

Serving All of California Online+

Choose your path

Two specialized practices, one steady hand.

Tell us where you are. We'll meet you there.

Life & Legacy Estate Planning

Your family shouldn't have to figure it out in a crisis. Heart-centered estate planning that gives the people you love protection, clear guidance, and peace of mind, while ensuring your family stays out of court and out of conflict.

Family Conflict & Divorce

Navigate disputes between family members and divorce with steady, experienced guidance. Tamara serves as a neutral mediator to bring parties to resolution — or as a strategic advisor to protect your interests and help you build what comes next.

About Tamara

Strategic Counsel for Complicated Seasons.

Tamara M. Arnold is a Life Transition Attorney,

certified mediator, creator of the Divorce Wave App

and founder of Truce Resolutions, PC, a boutique law

practice in Solvang, California; serving Santa Barbara County in person and all of California virtually.

She spent 10 years as a “Big Law” litigator

representing Fortune 500 clients at two top global law

firms before founding her own practice. Over 13 years

as a family conflict mediator — with an 85%

settlement success rate — she developed a rare

ability to hold space for high-stakes, high-emotion

disputes while keeping outcomes practical and

durable.

Today, her practice is built around two core services:

heart-centered estate planning using the Personal

Family Lawyer® model, and strategic family

conflict mediation and consulting. She counsels

clients through life's hardest transitions with the

candor and precision of a seasoned litigator and the

warmth of a trusted advisor.

Every engagement starts the same way: a real

conversation, no legal jargon, and a clear-eyed focus

on what matters most to you and the people you love.

"Conflicts Resolved. Families Protected."

What clients say

Real outcomes. Real relief.

A few words from people who've worked with Truce Resolutions.

"Working with Tamara has been nothing short of amazing. In all honesty,I don't think I could have gotten through this without her. Not only has Tamara made the legal process seem less daunting and uncertain, but she's helped me to realize that I am not responsible for my spouse's

happiness, and this realization has freed me to claim this next chapter of my life with hope and without guilt."

Tom N.

Physician — Divorce Client

From start to finish, the establishment of a revocable trust for our family was seamless with Tamara Arnold at Truce Resolutions. She thoughtfully addressed all concerns, made sure everything that was important to us was included in the language of our trust, and presented us with a legal document we can use to avoid probate for our heirs. She even interviewed my husband and me and saved the recording for our heirs to hear, in our own voices when the time comes, why we wanted to take these steps to leave them a legacy. I highly recommend Truce Resolutions for your estate planning.."

Vicki W.

Google Review — Estate Planning

"I've started setting firmer boundaries, communicating more clearly with my ex, and making choices based on what's best for my future instead of staying stuck in the past. Tamara pushed me to look at things from a different angle, but always in a way that felt respectful and constructive. The balance made a huge difference."

Shawn R.

First Responder — Divorce Client

"We wanted to setup a trust and guardianship for our kids in case anything were to happen to us, and Tamara at Truce Resolutions did an amazing job guiding us through the process and making sure all the loose ends were tied up. She was sensitive, quick to respond and went above and beyond in the little details making sure everything was the way we want it. Highly Recommend!"

Lauren K.

Estate Planning Client

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UPCOMING EVENTS & FREE WORKSHOPS

Learn How to Protect Your Family, Assets, and Legacy

Whether you prefer attending in person or online, our educational workshops and webinars are designed to help you make informed decisions about estate planning, guardianship, trusts, and protecting the people you love most.

Join attorney Tamara Arnold for practical, easy-to-understand guidance that can help you avoid costly mistakes and create a plan that gives your family clarity and peace of mind.

✔ Free Educational Workshops in the Santa Ynez Valley

✔ Live Estate Planning Webinars for all CA residents

✔ Q&A Opportunities with an Experienced Attorney

✔ Actionable Strategies to Protect Your Loved Ones

New events are added regularly. Click below to view upcoming events and reserve your spot.

Date

Thursday, June 12, 2025

Time

6:30 PM - 8:00 PM

Where

Live webinar

Life & Legacy Planning FAQs

What is Estate Planning?

To learn more about what estate planning is, Tamara created a series of short videos to teach the basics, from explaining what wills and trusts are, to the process of estate planning, how much it costs, how long it takes, and more.

You can view the entire YouTube playlist by clicking HERE.

What is a Personal Family Lawyer®

A Personal Family Lawyer® is a trusted advisor who helps you make the very best personal, financial, legal, and business decisions for your family throughout your lifetime and is there to guide your loved ones when you can't be.

Do I need an attorney for my estate plan?

When it comes to estate planning, the best outcome for you, your family, and your loved ones will be achieved only by working with a lawyer who is familiar with various different estate planning situations and encounters them daily.

DIY or Online estate plans often fail or don't cover everything that should be covered by a comprehensive plan. (See our short video on DIY Plans here).

A will alone does very little. That is the dirty little secret of traditional estate planning. Even the “legal 4” set of documents (Will, Power of Attorney, Healthcare Directive, Revocable Living Trust) often are not enough to keep you or your surviving loved ones out of court and out of conflict. Working with a lawyer who has a process for helping you make wise decisions will help you know what you need based on what you have and what you want. That’s what Life & Legacy Planning is all about.

You have worked your whole life for what you have and meticulously fostered the relationships in your life. Unfortunately, some families collapse after the death of a loved one because they either did no planning at all, or if they did, it was through an online platform that knew nothing about their family or unique circumstances and that ultimately failed them when their family needed help the most. We encourage a lifelong relationship between you and your estate planning attorney so that you have a lawyer to be there for your family when you cannot be.

Aren't estate plans only for the wealthy? If I'm not rich, why do I need one?

Click HERE to see this FAQ answered on YouTube

Financially rich or not, you likely have accumulated quite a lot throughout your life, and someone will have to handle all of it if you become incapacitated or when you die. If you do not have an estate plan, you will automatically get the State's plan applied to your assets, and of you know anybody who has had the pleasure of experiencing California's probate court, they'll tell you that's not a good thing. So you need an estate plan only if you want to minimize the burden on the people you love of handling everything you have if something should happen to you.

We're here to help you get your ducks in a row.

Can't I just create a Will myself online?

Click HERE to see this FAQ answered on YouTube

You sure can. There are many services that will allow you to create a will at very low cost, and even free. And, as you know, you get what you pay for… so, if you do create a will yourself online, please make sure you have it reviewed by a lawyer who will help you understand the choices you have, and the impact of the choices you make, on the people you love. 

We put together a resource to make this decision simple for you. Click to read "3 Essential Questions to Ask Before Creating Your Will Online" 

https://personalfamilylawyer.com/3-essential-questions-to-ask-before-creating-your-will-online/

How do I know if I can benefit from Life and Legacy Planning?

Click HERE to watch on YouTube and learn more about our Life & Legacy Planning Session 

If you have things you care about and people you love, you need an estate plan so you can leave what you have to the people you love without a big mess. Life and Legacy Planning guides you to get clear on what you need, and how to put a plan in place to support it all. Watch our webinar, read our book, or schedule a 15-min consult with me, and see how you’ll benefit. We think your family is worth it.

How much does Estate Planning cost?

Click HERE to see this FAQ answered on YouTube

This is the most often asked question in estate planning, and that is okay – we know the topic of cost is a sensitive one when it comes to choosing a professional to guide you, and we have designed our fees on a flat-fee basis only so that you know exactly what you are committing to – and there are no surprises. Because every family is different, we don't quote fees online. Instead, we invite you to hop on a complementary 15-minute discovery call to talk about our fee ranges. We also invite you to check out our educational events where we teach you things about estate planning you did not even know to ask.

The cost of hiring a lawyer needs to be compared to the cost of not hiring a lawyer, or working with a lawyer who lured you in with low fees, but then left your family in the lurch (and unexpected fees).

My pricing is transparent and based on a flat-fee so there are no surprises. Our will plans start at $2,500 and our trust plans start at $4,500. During your Life & Legacy Planning Session, I’ll guide you to choose the right plan for you, at the right budget for your family based on your unique needs, wants, desires, assets, and family dynamics.

And, remember, you’ll only work with me if the benefits exceed the cost, and I will help you determine if that’s the case. It’s all part of their planning process.

What certifications do Personal Family Lawyers have that make them different?

As Personal Family Lawyer, I have chosen to focus on estate planning as a primary practice area and to do so using Life & Legacy Planning, a proprietary estate planning methodology. I’ve been trained by New Law Business Model to fulfill the PFL Promise: planning that works to keep your family out of court and out of conflict, and won't fail when your loved ones need it.escribe the item or answer the question so that site visitors who are interested get more information. You can emphasize this text with bullets, italics or bold, and add links.

How long does Estate Planning take?

Designing your Estate Plan with us takes between 8-10 weeks. It all starts with our Life & Legacy Planning Session.

Watch Tamara explain the process by clicking HERE.

Where do I start?

You’ve already started by researching hiring me as your potential Personal Family Lawyer. I offer prospective clients a free discovery call.

During this call, we'll get to know you and explain our detailed process that is designed to ensure you completely your plan as efficiently and as cost-effective as possible. 

Divorce & Family Conflict FAQs

What is a divorce and transition consultant, and why do I need one?

As an executive transition strategist (a coach for executives and professionals experiencing personal transitions), I work with individuals one-on-one:

I am your personal guide during what may be the most challenging period of your life.  Anybody who has been there will tell you divorce is scary, difficult, and filled with uncertainty. Unchecked anger or resentment can cost you time, money, and unwelcome setbacks. I hold space for my clients to exhaust their anger and frustration in a safe and confidential container so they can show up as their best selves when it matters. 

I walk you through what you can expect, step by step.  The scariest part of the divorce process is facing the unknown.  

I have a wealth of resources at my disposal to guide you in the process of putting together the right team that suits your particular situation and your means. Making the right decisions early ensures you receive the best advice and outcome possible.  I also  recommend efficient and helpful tools to keep you organized along the way.

I specialize in facilitating effective communication between parties in conflict and aiding in the negotiation process. By working with me, you'll gain invaluable support in managing the emotional aspects of your divorce, enhance respectful communication with your ex-spouse or co-parent, and develop strategies for constructive collaboration, ultimately leading to a more amicable resolution.  If you’re a parent, I’ll help you ensure your children remain in the center of this process, not in the middle. 

I am a life-long collector of wisdom. I am informed by the Enneagram, Gene Keys, Stoics, Human Design, I-Ching, Daosim, Quantum Level Reprogramming, and Kabbalah. I have studied ancient history, philosophy, spiritual healing modalities, self-care practices, and of course, the law. I draw on my skills and knowledge in all of these areas of wisdom to help my clients not only conquer this process but grow and come out the other side stronger, wiser, hopeful, and more evolved than when they started.  My goal is to empower you to trust your instincts, embrace the changes ahead, take control of your future, and welcome your Family 2.0 era with open arms.

What does a mediator do, and why do I need one?

As a mediator, I work with both divorcing spouses (or family members in conflict) to help them come to a resolution and agreement of their divorce settlement or conflict. 

A mediator is a neutral that meets with both sides, sometimes individually, and sometimes in joint sessions, to help the parties negotiate the terms of their divorce settlement, spousal support, custody arrangement, or other family related conflict. I can also assist with drawing up the paperwork necessary to finalize your divorce or preparing a settlement agreement. A mediator can educate you on the law applicable to your situation but cannot offer you legal advice because the mediator is not the legal advocate of either party.

How is a divorce and transition consultant different from an attorney?

While attorneys focus on the legal aspects of divorce and advocate on your behalf, a divorce coach concentrates on the emotional and interpersonal dynamics. I complement the legal process by helping you navigate communication, ask the right questions, manage stress, and develop strategies for effective negotiation. I also help you figure out your budget and financial interests so you can negotiate on your own behalf. My role is to empower you to make informed decisions and work towards a resolution that meets your needs and priorities.

How is a divorce or transition consultant different from a mediator?

A mediator works with both sides as a neutral to help them come to a mutual agreement. As your divorce coach, on the other hand, I work for you.  I help you negotiate the topsy-turvy nature of the divorce process so you can become your own best advocate, feel in control of your options, and ensure the right outcome. 

How is coaching different from therapy?

In general, therapy looks backward at your family history, past traumas, and past relationships, to connect the dots as to how you arrived here.  Therapy can be a valuable part of the healing and acceptance process.  Coaching, on the other hand, looks forward to help you set goals, boundaries, and chart a course to build the life that you want to live. It is strategic and solution focused and helps clients feel empowered to be their own best advocate. 

Can I hire you instead as my attorney?

At the present time, I am not accepting family law litigation cases and am not serving as the attorney of record for my clients in their family law cases. My current service offerings include divorce and family conflict mediation, consulting (coaching), and Life & Legacy estate planning.  If the need arises, I work with my clients to refer them to qualified and competent family law litigators.

Will hiring a divorce consultant replace the need for an attorney?

Sometimes but not always. While I am also an attorney by trade (Cal. Bar. No 228940) and will certainly draw on my legal skills, I will not be retained as your attorney while I am serving as your coach. Incidentally, I’m also a licensed real estate agent (DRE No. 02129295) and can answer your real estate questions. You can choose to attend mediation and work collaboratively with your spouse on the divorce, and/or you can hire an attorney to represent your legal interests in the legal proceedings. There are plenty of options. As your coach, I will focus on helping you get through this challenging season. Having both a coach and an attorney on your team will ensure all bases are covered. By engaging in a coach as early on in the process as possible, I can help you ask the right questions and recommend competent and talented attorneys or mediators to assist you in your divorce proceedings.

Can a divorce consultant help if my divorce is already contentious?

Yes! I’m trained in de-escalating conflicts, promoting effective communication, and facilitating negotiations. When tempers flare, strategizing and reality testing with your coach in advance ensures you are calm, brief, and effective when communicating with your former partner when it counts.

How long does the divorce and transition consulting process typically take?

I offer different packages based on what stage of the process you’re in: deciding whether to divorce; pre-divorce preparation; during divorce proceedings; and post-divorce parenting plan negotiations. If you are going through a divorce, the duration of the legal divorce process varies depending on the complexity of your case, the amount of conflict between the parties, whether the parties engage in mediation, the court’s, attorneys’ and parties’ respective calendars, and the willingness of both parties to stay on top of tasks and engaged in the legal process to ensure it proceeds smoothly. I am available to coach you through all or some of the phases of your divorce and beyond. I am also available as a co-parenting coach if needed to help during the transition to separate households.

Is divorce coaching only for couples with children?

No, divorce coaching is beneficial for all couples, regardless of whether they have children. While it is especially helpful in fostering respectful and cooperative custody and co-parenting strategies, I also assist in addressing various aspects of divorce, such as property division, financial concerns, parenting plans, and of course, your emotional well-being, healing, and moving on.

How does confidentiality work?

Maintaining confidentiality is a top priority. All discussions and information shared during our coaching sessions are held strictly confidential. This creates a safe space for open communication, allowing you to express concerns, fears, and desires without the fear of information being disclosed to external parties. Coaching sessions are not legally recognized “privileged” communications like a communication with an attorney or doctor is, and, though highly unlikely, may be subject to subpoena.

Mediations are confidential pursuant to California Evidence Code Section 1119 with certain recognized exceptions. The discussions or offers in mediation are not subject to disclosure in litigation proceedings.

Where do I start?

You’ve already started, so take a deep breath and honor those baby steps. I offer prospective clients a free consultation.

During this session, we'll discuss your specific situation, goals, and how the divorce coaching or mediation process can benefit you.  I’ll explain my process so you can determine if my services are the right fit. I look forward to guiding you through what I hope will be the beginning of a better life for you and your family, not an ending. Onward. 

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